Wednesday, October 16, 2013

We Are One

My daughter is one. In what seems like a much shorter period, she has grown up so quickly. From the absolute dependence a small baby needs, to a roaming little baby girl that wants to already do things herself. Her nicknames are baby owl, baby girl, pretty, and any number of other names that sound cute because that's exactly what she is.

She is precious to me and my wife. She shows her love with the excitement she has when she sees us, even if it's from a short absence of our presence. I would give anything to be with her at all times, but I have come to realize things during her first year. In a sense, I am only one too.

I am a father and she is our first child. I feel a sense of helplessness sometimes, knowing I can't protect her all of the time, but always wanting to makes me feel like I'm doing everything I can to watch after her and be the best dad I can be for her. She deserves that. She deserves the best I can be for her, so she will one day realize she is worth the love and support that her mother and father have for the daughter they cherish more than anything else in this world.

This isn't about expectations. It's about the life we want for her. To be able to love like we have and to make choices like we have and to feel the wonderful responsibility of one day having her own child. Yes, that is a long time away, yet I hope time seems to slowly pass so I can love every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year.

That's what she means to me. I fear missing the time I've already missed, but know supporting a family comes at a price we all share. We must provide for the ones we love and the time away working is only a bridge where my wife and little girl are waiting on the other side. I am so fond for the end of the day, not to be done with work, but to start the day with my family.

Yesterday, our daughter slept beside me for a little while before work. It was the best Monday morning before work I've ever had in my life. It's knowing that she needed her momma and dadda a little earlier than she normally wakes up, and being able to go to her room, pick her up, and let her sleep next to us.

I hope I can provide what she needs for all time and I will strive with every effort to achieve that. It's what she deserves. It's what she will get.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Vlog Entry for Geek & Sundry

Some of you might not know this, but I'm a writer. I've published two books, currently finalizing a third, and hope to publish two books this year. Also, I'm very interested in extending myself socially. In using my author name, S. T. Lakata, I haven't really involved too much personal information; pictures, full name, get the idea.

Well, I've become a big fan of Geek & Sundry and they are looking for vloggers. I have decided to take a chance and create a video to submit to them and was emailed today that my video is "now moving on to the Community Feedback portion of the Geek & Sundry Vlogs vlogger search!"

They are looking for feedback from June 20 to June 27. People can post comments, vote daily, and share the video with others until they narrow it down to 30 vloggers. G&S is looking for 10 lucky participants to become part of their new channel and it would be absolutely amazing to be selected.

The topic for my vlog is "A vlog to discuss future episodes and what we would like to see our children get involved with in the "geek" world." My video is out there now and please feel free to watch, share, and post comments.

I am asking everyone to go to the website below starting tomorrow. Please vote every day and post comments on why you think my video is great and why you would love to see future episodes on such an amazing topic. Don't worry, I will send reminders. Thank you in advance, because this is a big step for me and sharing a little more of me to the world.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel and find out about future episodes.

Geek & Sundry Vlog Entry: S. T. Lakata

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Poem (inspired by Geek & Sundry)

I'm a big fan of Geek & Sundry and they've recently created the G&S Vlogs. One of these vlogs is about writing, with the latest post about poetry (via Nika Harper).  My introduction into any creative writing came from writing poems as a teen.  It's been a little bit of time since I've written a poem, since I've been working on the Weiland Kershaw series the past few years; so I've decided to participate and share a poem I wrote last night.

The moment my feet found the air,
a whispering hush of the wind
told me how my nature would change
and that I’d lose everything in a fleeting brush.

There wasn’t a glimmer of sun,
the ground held captive by cavernous light
a misstep sent my mind searching, scattered
for one final love to remember.

Trees twist, tumble, and fade away
as dark gray cliffs keep my company
until black roaring water arrives
for an unexpected date of unfulfilling destiny.

I feel her eyes leering down with the
memory I’ve been yearning for, a time
when life was long-lasting and liberating
as a soft, subtle first kiss should be.

There is no reason to see her in this;
a swirling, murky void in which I’m caught with
no beginning to see and a light that has
never fully formed around waning consciousness.

A smile leaps down like a rope and yet
my reach clutches emptiness as if
matching a fated beating chest
as fluid movement approaches determinedly.

Quickly floating air deviates time and space as
the fall becomes a photo trapped in one brief
heart-wrenching instant where memories
otherwise flee like water in an overturned glass

Her face begins to disappear as
the everlasting night creeps through
shallow breath and flickering eyes
with narrowing screams following battered sounds of the sea.

Certainty is just a figment,
fear fills my glassy eyes as an inevitable gloom
squanders any future thoughts of a life
bursting with boisterous laughter and love.

Skin tingles, breath falters, darkness lingers,
the absence of her company stations my regret
as a final splash nears without any net in sight,
no blanket to comfort the coming cold grip.

Vision becomes clear as spiraling dwindles away
looking up to the flat, dark ceiling with sense
of dread, remorse, and sudden satisfaction as
reality stirs my confidence from the terror.

A fan slowly twirls above unaware of the
devastatingly silent imagery that attempted
to corrupt joyously waiting years ahead, yet
only a reminder of the love I share
presents itself through the obscurity
with faint movement and shallow breath.

Under Cover of the Fall

by S. T. Lakata

I hope you've enjoyed this and please feel free to share any comments you might have for this piece.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

A Comic Book World

My teenage years included comic books, cartoons, video games, basketball, and a lot of music. Over the past decade or so, I've been happy with film companies attempting comic book movies. It is such a treat to witness characters and their powers on the big screen. I've been recently getting back into comic books and attended my first Comic-Con last year in Baltimore. I've also started following one series in particular; Avengers Arena is really entertaining.

Speaking of The Avengers, I am really excited with any and all future projects that Marvel is currently working on or planning. Let me begin with Iron Man. I do not know if there is a better person suited to play the "man in a tin can" than Robert Downey, Jr. His ability to express sarcasm, ego, and the desire to be a hero is translated perfectly. Iron Man 3 is another successful flick in the trio and there was one preview in particular that further pulled me into wanting to see it.

Now, there is another preview that has me extremely excited for a TV series that will be coming out this fall.

I cannot wait to see Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It looks like a fantastic opportunity to expand the Marvel universe by introducing new characters and potentially bringing big screen characters to the little screen. The possibilities seem endless and that is part of the reason why I'm looking forward to it. I don't know what new characters will be added to the movie or TV world, but I know I'll be happy with the fact that it's happening. Comic books provide so much entertainment for so many and it's nice to know that I can still look forward to something that I used to look forward to when I was twenty years younger.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Six Months a Baby Owl

I can't believe that six months have passed since the birth of our daughter. Baby owl can sit up, enjoys time in her doorway jumper, and has been eating solids for a couple of months already. My wife makes her food; carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, and peaches are her favorites. She tried peaches for the first time yesterday. She definitely recognizes her mama and dada and has even started to say those words too. She started by saying mama last week and dada a few days later. She has really been enjoying dada. Meghan had a conversation on her way home from picking baby owl up and it went something like this...

Baby Owl: dadadadadada
Meghan: mamamamama
Baby Owl: dadadadadada
Meghan: mamamamama

This apparently went on for a good 15 minutes or so, but baby owl won the conversation. I don't get much time with her during the week. I'm lucky to get five minutes with her after I get home from work, but I love being able to feed her when she gets up at night. She has her moments when she'll look at me and just baby talk to me. She really likes to grab onto things and really loves her doll baby. She is teething, which we try to aleviate her pain with frozen pacifiers or teething rings.

I find it amazing she is already big enough to sit up on her own; although I like it when we place a boppy pillow around her in case she leans to quickly for us to catch her. I absolutely love every moment we get to spend together on the weekends. She has had a few firsts recently too. She had her first visit to the aquarium and the zoo. She also had her first "run" (with Pop-Rod, aka grandpa) through the sprinkler, toes in the grass, and swinging and sliding at the playground. Also, after her second visit to the aquarium she had her first high chair experience at the Baltimore Hard Rock Cafe. It's still to be determined if she enjoyed the music selection.

It's hard to imagine her getting bigger, yet every day it seems to happen. I'm not sure if I'll realize it by the time she becomes a teenager or a young woman, but for now I can only say how much I already miss the time I've already had with her. It was only October when she was born and already half a year has gone by with a year quickly approaching. This will be her first summer and perhaps she'll have a couple of other firsts; pool visit, trip to the beach or Longwood Gardens, and perhaps her first long distance car ride.

Every day I look forward to the weekend and when it arrives I never want it to end. It's my time to spend with her and Meghan. I don't know if I'll always have the weekends. Perhaps writing will become a full-time gig that'll provide even more or less flexibility. I do know that I can't wait for another six months (x100).

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Filling in the Years with...

It's been a while since I've blogged. The wife, baby, and I are doing well and baby owl is almost four months old. I thought it would be fun to create and share a questionnaire, which I'm hoping will be a nice way to share a little bit about myself with all of my online friends.  Please feel free to use the same questions and blog your own responses.

Let's call this the "Filling in the Years" post/questionnaire/survey. Depending on your age, you might respond to these as things you do a lot of currently instead of posting as past favorites.

Filling in your kid years:

What's the one television show you wanted to stay up late to watch?

What two songs remind you of that period the most?
Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams
Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

What three movies created during your kid years would you still watch today?
Die Hard
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Tango and Cash

The teen years:

What is one activity that occupied a large portion of your time?

What are two books from your teen years that somewhat defined your reading preferences today?
Sphere by Michael Crichton
Dark Mirror (Star Trek: The Next Generation Series) by Diane Duane

What were three of your favorite bands that you'd still want to see in concert today?

High school:

What is one song that captures your personality or musical preference during your high school years?
Pretty Noose by Soundgarden (grunge/alternative fan)

Which two items did you most commonly have for lunch?
Honey bun

What were your three favorite classes?
U. S. History

Rated R Years:

What was the first concert you attended after turning 18?
Tibetan Freedom Concert

What were two trips you took without parental guidance after graduating high school?
Atlantic City

What were three late night spots you frequented most often?
Movie Theater

The 20s/College Life:

What is one thing you discovered that you did not previously know about yourself?
I enjoyed exercising.

What two shows could you turn to and watch when you needed to relax?
Star Trek: The Next Generation

What three beverages became your favorites?
Ginger Ale

Modern Times:

What is one place you've visited that you'd want to see again?

What are two places that you've never been to, but consider a must during your lifetime?

What are three movies old or new that you have watched again and again?
The Shawshank Redemption
Harry Potter

Random Mix:

What is one favorite activity that you've enjoyed from little tike to adult?
Seeing a movie in theater

What are two of your favorite indulgent food items?
Ice Cream

What are three of your favorite places?
San Diego

You pick three questions and answers: