+ 1

My family has increased in size. Our baby boy, "a peanut compared to our daughter" according to my wife, was ten pounds and one ounce. He was a mere three ounces shy of his big sister. This "little" guy we've nicknamed baby moby. We created nicknames for each child before they were born, so it made it easier to talk about them with our family and friends without sharing their names. Baby owl is our daughter; baby moby is our son.

Although baby owl has turned into big girl owl at 20 months old, I already wonder what baby moby will be at that age. It seems like we were traveling at warp speed during this pregnancy, with only glancing moments as we pass by each day.

We've got to feed the cat; one day. We've got to take the trash out; another day. The trash was supposed to go out last night; crap. The days, weeks, and months included room preparations, additional baby product purchases, and getting big girl ready for being a big sister and having a little brother.

It's amazing to see the differences and similarities between our two children, especially during these first two weeks. They have similar facial features, but different hair color and cries. It's a non-stop ride and I never want to get off. We're getting into a routine slowly, but he's already getting decent chunks of sleep at night.

And baby girl is doing such a wonderful job with him. She always wants to go over to him and give him a pacifier, blanket, or one of her toys. It's such a wonderful feeling to have both of them in our lives. I hold them whenever I can, I read to them whenever I can, and one day I'll chase both of them around the house. For now, I don't think he'll mind that it's just her.

We Are One

My daughter is one. In what seems like a much shorter period, she has grown up so quickly. From the absolute dependence a small baby needs, to a roaming little baby girl that wants to already do things herself. Her nicknames are baby owl, baby girl, pretty, and any number of other names that sound cute because that's exactly what she is.

She is precious to me and my wife. She shows her love with the excitement she has when she sees us, even if it's from a short absence of our presence. I would give anything to be with her at all times, but I have come to realize things during her first year. In a sense, I am only one too.

I am a father and she is our first child. I feel a sense of helplessness sometimes, knowing I can't protect her all of the time, but always wanting to makes me feel like I'm doing everything I can to watch after her and be the best dad I can be for her. She deserves that. She deserves the best I can be for her, so she will one day realize she is worth the love and support that her mother and father have for the daughter they cherish more than anything else in this world.

This isn't about expectations. It's about the life we want for her. To be able to love like we have and to make choices like we have and to feel the wonderful responsibility of one day having her own child. Yes, that is a long time away, yet I hope time seems to slowly pass so I can love every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year.

That's what she means to me. I fear missing the time I've already missed, but know supporting a family comes at a price we all share. We must provide for the ones we love and the time away working is only a bridge where my wife and little girl are waiting on the other side. I am so fond for the end of the day, not to be done with work, but to start the day with my family.

Yesterday, our daughter slept beside me for a little while before work. It was the best Monday morning before work I've ever had in my life. It's knowing that she needed her momma and dadda a little earlier than she normally wakes up, and being able to go to her room, pick her up, and let her sleep next to us.

I hope I can provide what she needs for all time and I will strive with every effort to achieve that. It's what she deserves. It's what she will get.

A Vlog Entry for Geek & Sundry

Some of you might not know this, but I'm a writer. I've published two books, currently finalizing a third, and hope to publish two books this year. Also, I'm very interested in extending myself socially. In using my author name, S. T. Lakata, I haven't really involved too much personal information; pictures, full name, videos...you get the idea.

Well, I've become a big fan of Geek & Sundry and they are looking for vloggers. I have decided to take a chance and create a video to submit to them and was emailed today that my video is "now moving on to the Community Feedback portion of the Geek & Sundry Vlogs vlogger search!"

They are looking for feedback from June 20 to June 27. People can post comments, vote daily, and share the video with others until they narrow it down to 30 vloggers. G&S is looking for 10 lucky participants to become part of their new channel and it would be absolutely amazing to be selected.

The topic for my vlog is "A vlog to discuss future episodes and what we would like to see our children get involved with in the "geek" world." My video is out there now and please feel free to watch, share, and post comments.

I am asking everyone to go to the website below starting tomorrow. Please vote every day and post comments on why you think my video is great and why you would love to see future episodes on such an amazing topic. Don't worry, I will send reminders. Thank you in advance, because this is a big step for me and sharing a little more of me to the world.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel and find out about future episodes.

Geek & Sundry Vlog Entry: S. T. Lakata

A Poem (inspired by Geek & Sundry)

I'm a big fan of Geek & Sundry and they've recently created the G&S Vlogs. One of these vlogs is about writing, with the latest post about poetry (via Nika Harper).  My introduction into any creative writing came from writing poems as a teen.  It's been a little bit of time since I've written a poem, since I've been working on the Weiland Kershaw series the past few years; so I've decided to participate and share a poem I wrote last night.

The moment my feet found the air,

a whispering hush of the wind

told me how my nature would change

and that I’d lose everything in a fleeting brush.

There wasn’t a glimmer of sun,

the ground held captive by cavernous light

a misstep sent my mind searching, scattered

for one final love to remember.

Trees twist, tumble, and fade away

as dark gray cliffs keep my company

until black roaring water arrives

for an unexpected date of unfulfilling destiny.

I feel her eyes leering down with the

memory I’ve been yearning for, a time

when life was long-lasting and liberating

as a soft, subtle first kiss should be.

There is no reason to see her in this;

a swirling, murky void in which I’m caught with

no beginning to see and a light that has

never fully formed around waning consciousness.

A smile leaps down like a rope and yet

my reach clutches emptiness as if

matching a fated beating chest

as fluid movement approaches determinedly.

Quickly floating air deviates time and space as

the fall becomes a photo trapped in one brief

heart-wrenching instant where memories

otherwise flee like water in an overturned glass

Her face begins to disappear as

the everlasting night creeps through

shallow breath and flickering eyes

with narrowing screams following battered sounds of the sea.

Certainty is just a figment,

fear fills my glassy eyes as an inevitable gloom

squanders any future thoughts of a life

bursting with boisterous laughter and love.

Skin tingles, breath falters, darkness lingers,

the absence of her company stations my regret

as a final splash nears without any net in sight,

no blanket to comfort the coming cold grip.

Vision becomes clear as spiraling dwindles away

looking up to the flat, dark ceiling with sense

of dread, remorse, and sudden satisfaction as

reality stirs my confidence from the terror.

A fan slowly twirls above unaware of the

devastatingly silent imagery that attempted

to corrupt joyously waiting years ahead, yet

only a reminder of the love I share

presents itself through the obscurity

with faint movement and shallow breath.

Under Cover of the Fall

by S. T. Lakata

I hope you've enjoyed this and please feel free to share any comments you might have for this piece.

A Comic Book World

My teenage years included comic books, cartoons, video games, basketball, and a lot of music. Over the past decade or so, I've been happy with film companies attempting comic book movies. It is such a treat to witness characters and their powers on the big screen. I've been recently getting back into comic books and attended my first Comic-Con last year in Baltimore. I've also started following one series in particular; Avengers Arena is really entertaining.

Speaking of The Avengers, I am really excited with any and all future projects that Marvel is currently working on or planning. Let me begin with Iron Man. I do not know if there is a better person suited to play the "man in a tin can" than Robert Downey, Jr. His ability to express sarcasm, ego, and the desire to be a hero is translated perfectly. Iron Man 3 is another successful flick in the trio and there was one preview in particular that further pulled me into wanting to see it.



Now, there is another preview that has me extremely excited for a TV series that will be coming out this fall.



I cannot wait to see Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It looks like a fantastic opportunity to expand the Marvel universe by introducing new characters and potentially bringing big screen characters to the little screen. The possibilities seem endless and that is part of the reason why I'm looking forward to it. I don't know what new characters will be added to the movie or TV world, but I know I'll be happy with the fact that it's happening. Comic books provide so much entertainment for so many and it's nice to know that I can still look forward to something that I used to look forward to when I was twenty years younger.