As I read Felicia Day's You're Never Weird On The Internet (almost), I quickly realize how everything is okay. It might seem weird to sum up my life's experiences after barely breaching through many pages, but she became so much more relatable than I thought to be possible. I read segments and thought, "You mean, the I'm not weird and alone feeling I had growing up was normal." Or at least I wasn't alone with feelings of being the outcast, rebel, or just simply plain.
It's still to this day difficult to admit to feelings (such feelings) when I try to describe how awkward and alone I felt as a kid. The days of just wanting to play sports to spend time with "friends" hoping they'd actually be friends with me. My idea of friendship was probably more knightly than I am recalling at the moment, but friendship meant being able to spill the beans on any and all feelings I had about everything, but it wasn't until maybe grades 5 or 6 that really left me with any friends that wanted to hang out. I latched onto these one or two individuals like my life depended on it. Having sleepovers, playing video games, going for adventures around (or not so near) our neighborhoods, to eventually having two guys (me being one of them) that each played the guitar (I was decent; played for six or seven years solid until my hands and arms would just cramp up after a few minutes of play). My friend and I were interested in starting a band, and even thought of some band names, yet our conquest for band domination was put to a stop by the following words from my parents, "We're moving."
The new surroundings were not what I imagined, especially since my imagination seemed stunted by angst caused by the move. Everything was different, but one thing seemed familiar; that ever growing familiar feeling of being alone and not knowing what to do around other people. This wasn't like starting elementary where everyone's new to the class. This was being uprooted to a completely different non-melting pot of a town that everyone seemed to know everyone else, and now add the new dude. It can even be unintentionally amplified by a teacher that calls you "Yankee" despite the fact that you've moved from the northern part of one state to the southern part of the same state.
This teacher was very kind, and even said my accent sounded like I was from New York. I had no idea I was that cool until that point. Huh, New York. Okay, I can live with that. Wow, I think I kind of got off my initial point of writing this piece. Maybe I'll come back to all of this other stuff at a later time.
Felicia Day, in just a short amount of pages, has made my life (growing up) seem relevant. And the points she makes about finding what you love and doing it (not a joke), you go for it. So I love writing and creating fictional characters. I hope my creativity finds a way to grow myself wings to fly me to my next adventure. As I continue reading her book, perhaps I'll write more posts describing how her personal sharings have made me feel comfortable enough to open up more about me...not to say you're interested.